SO I haven't been here in quite a while but I need to get this out.
I have Sero Negative RA ... basically I have RA and all symptoms of RA but it doesn't show up in my bloodwork.
I was also diagnosed with Latent Tuberculosis and cannot take any RA medications until its treated. I cannot take Tyelonol or drink alcohol for the next 9 months because we have to clear up the Latent TB. I cannot tolerate DMARD's, the usual RA meds that help so many and I cannot take IBprofen because it hurts my stomach.
SO basically I am in hell.
Sure I try to laugh it off, make jokes, say I am fine. I am not fine, I am pissed off and in pain ALL the fucking time. Somedays are better than others but those days are getting further and further apart.
Please don't feel sorry for me. Please try to understand I just need to get it out.
I don't cry anymore because my hands are useless. The fatigue is a bitch and I am so weak. I guess this is me now?
That pisses me off.
Folding laundry, cleaning, all my wifely duties (insert sarcasm) are incredibly hard for me to do. Thank God for Ralph , he picks up my slack and I feel like a piece of shit sometimes because I know its not easy. He never complains. He is truly in it for better and for worse. I know I can be a complete asshole and I cannot be easy to live with.
I am a good person dealing with some fucked up shit.
Its changing me. I don't think its necessarily a bad thing. Its giving me a different perspective.
Still pissed today. I have every right to be.
Chronic pain without pain killers sucks.
Tomorrow will be better. For now just smiling through it.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Hanging out with Jacob
This is Jackson, my nephew and my brothers mini-me
My Bro and Sis-in-law and sweet baby Jack
My Awesome Mom
My Awesome Kid
My awesome big Brother
My awesome Home town
The love of my life
Jacob and Sky
I think he is thinking about spitting on his Godmother and eww I look crazy
My awesome sister godmother wife Katie
Jackson taking a dip
The Beautiful Shrine of St.Joseph where Sky turned around in awe looking at the singers on the back balcony and says "How the HELL did they get up there ?" I know I know just like her mom she is :)
Happy Adoption Awareness Month !!!!!!!!! We are lucky enough to have been touched by the miracle of adoption , have you ?
Sadly we lost our beautiful friend Valerie in June, I miss her everyday. Cancer is a fucking bitch . I will carry her strength with me forever, my life and all that knew her has changed for the better just for having known and loved her. TEAM VALERIE FOREVER
Our family grew by 4 in the month of August. My sweet nephew Jackson was born and I FOUND Sky's big brother !!!!!! AMAZING they look so much alike and he has a brother so now she has 2 big brothers to look after her !!!!!!!!! And of course their mom , I cannot wait to meet them in person. You should hear SkylieBug talk on the phone with her brothers ITS SO SO CUTE
Sky started kindergarten and she's a freakin' genius ! She loves it and is doing quite well .
Monday, March 21, 2011
Does this make my nose look big ?
Can you tell I am starting to laugh at myself ?
Can you see my Uvula ???
Can you now ? Look at my gangsta chipped tooth that the doc won't fix ...
because I continually bite my fingernails.
My new name Ghetto Tooth...GT
Can you tell I made my eyes shiney to make up for my new ghetto name ?
Look at the smiling eyes behind me .
Do I remind you of a Bobble Head ?
Do Blue eyes make me look like I have cataracts ?
Bubby has to wear a patch on his eye because he poked it .
Yes Bubby still goes with us where ever we may roam . Yes he has many clones .
And yes sometimes Bubby is a girl depending on Boots' mood.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Look how he is looking at her ... SO CUTE
Prettiest Eyes in the neighborhood
Isn't she a doll !?!?
She knows I am crazy I think LOL
I can just see these 2 as teenagers...God help Jaime and I
And Melia is gonna try to COVER for them