Tuesday, December 4, 2007
I am In a Funk
I am in such a funk. I am uncomfortable in my own stretched to capacity skin.I feel like bawling my eyes out. I just spent yesterday cleaning my house that is now destroyed because of my lazy ass not picking up after myself, a 2 year old (which I don't mind at all ) and a husband with a migraine. As far as my weight , well that's my own damn fault....I am not following my diet and apparently can't stop myself from eating Peanut M &M's. Sons a bitches. The only thing that keeps me going is a little baby girl who is the light of my life. And I'm letting her down. How can I do this to her? I have got to get out of this depression before it fucks her up. God I am so selfish. I am being a bad mom.Or am I being human?Ahh there's the voice of reason. I don't fucking know. All I know is I need some good sleep. I haven't worn my CPAP (sleep apnea) machine in a week because of a snotty nose and maybe that's causing these feelings. I am literally falling apart. I can't stand myself.I am so sick of myself . What the fuck??????????????